


Holding On

by Sorin



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 12:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4919044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorin/pseuds/Sorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Hraesvalgar's rejection, Ysayle poses the Warrior of Light a question. SPOILERS for Heavensward MSQ!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding On

After speaking with Hraesvalgar, I’m caught in a moment of indecision.Ysayle is clearly suffering, but Estinien is eager to be off- he doesn’t have any patience for her.“We don’t have time to piece together her shattered faith,” he’d said curtly, and though I understand his urgent need to keep moving, I also don’t feel comfortable leaving someone who’s become a friend alone after something like this.Finally, I bid him and Alphinaud to go ahead and tell them I’ll catch up, and any protests are silenced when I give them both a level stare.This is more important right now.Nothing is going to change within the next half hour, and that is time I intend on spending making sure Ysayle is all right.

Once they’re gone, I slowly walk back over to her.She’s still standing in the same place, looking blankly up at the sky.

“They say the greatest lies ever told are the ones we tell ourselves,” she says softly.“That I so deluded myself… it is no wonder they all think me a joke.”

I reach out and put my hand on her shoulder, and I shake my head.I don’t think she’s any different than she was before.I’ve no doubt she’s going to change after all of this, but I’m still convinced that she won’t lose the conviction she’d held so dearly.

She looks at me and smiles sadly.“Have you been in love before, my friend?”

I blink- this catches me off-guard.I don’t hesitate much before nodding slowly.

She nods as well.“Then I think you understand better than anyone could,” she murmurs.“I was foolish.”I frown and start to shake my head, but she lifts her hand a little.“I believed I was Saint Shiva reincarnated, along with all her thoughts and feelings,” she continues.“How much of that was _me,_ and how much desperation?”

I don’t know how to answer that question, at least not directly.What I know about love isn’t necessarily what others do.I don’t believe it always makes you stronger, nor do I believe it magically makes everything better… that hasn’t been the case for me.What it has been, however, is a constant source of faith and a steadfast support that’s kept me going.It’s a reminder that I am still whole, and despite everything I’ve suffered, it’s a reminder that I am still _able_ to love.

This makes her pause, and she’s quiet for a little while.“You truly believe that?” she finally asks, and when I immediately nod, she smiles a little.“I suppose it doesn’t depend on being returned, does it… not when you put it that way.”

I smile back.Loving someone is not at all the same as being loved.It’s a sort of inner strength that comes from you alone, I think- and it’s not something that someone else can give you by virtue of feeling the same, or not.It’s something you have to find in yourself, and what you take from it matters more than anything else.

She nods slowly and looks up at the sky, then back at me.“You should go,” she says, “but… thank you- truly.You’ve given me much to ponder.”

I know she’ll be safe here, and so I nod and take my leave… but I don’t hurry to catch up with Estinien and Alphinaud.There’s much to do before we can get into the Aery, and this conversation has brought my own beloved to mind- I haven’t seen him in a little while.I smile and close my eyes, reaching for the aether.

When I arrive at Camp Dragonhead, I find Haurchefant outside with a couple of young knights, instructing them in a technique that looks fairly basic.I put myself somewhere that he won’t be distracted by me and watch, smiling, as he gestures to the practice dummies and demonstrates what he wants them to do.He looks amazing, I think- tall, confident, everything a good leader should be.Adding his natural charm and good humor just makes him all the more appealing to me.

It’s not terribly long after that he glances back over his shoulder, as though he senses that he has an audience- and he does, it isn’t just me watching- but his gaze lands on me, and he brightens fit to outshine the sun.I think back to what I’d said to Ysayle, and I realize there’s one more thing I hadn’t mentioned… and that is, when he looks at me, I feel like there’s nothing I can’t accomplish.

That, I think, is something she will come to understand in time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> As requested by my lovely anon friend:) here's Ysayle and the WoL! It's not very long, but I didn't think it necessarily needed to be.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it!


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